Memoirs of a Dutiful Daughter by Simone de Beauvoir

“But in my heart of hearts I preferred a quiet afternoon alone with my books.”
― Simone de Beauvoir, Memoirs of a Dutiful Daughter
I couldn’t find words to describe how much love and appreciation I have for this book. I’m only 1/3 of the book and still hold on to reading about her childhood. Certainly de Beauvoir is always my greatest inspiration. Reading her memoir adds up my admiration toward her and gives me the opportunity to get to know her so intimately and at the same time reflect my own childhood memories as well. I highlight and post-it and go back and fort between pages. Sometimes I just pause and release the knot in my throat. We have so much in common. …“In all my games, my day-dreams, and my plan for the future, I never change myself into a man; all my imagination was to devoted to fulfillment of my destiny as a woman. And so, in the present as well as in the future, I proudly imagined myself reigning alone over my own life.”…
In this part, she mainly describeb her childhood, her passionate love toward her Papa, Mama, her sister and her beloved friend Zaza. Her childhood development until becoming a teenager. She didn’t play dolls and dislike TV(me too). Of course her love of studying and books beats my heart. Her sense of humor surprised me when she confessed how much she loved study English but never gonna be able to pronounce “th” sound. I giggled at myself for not being able to prefect “r” sound in French. She also mentioned about her observation and skeptical in God and religion a lot. But what moved me most to the point where it brings me tears was when she reflected about her mother. …”My mother’s eternal solicitude began to weigh upon me. The conflict that threatened to set me against my mother did not break out; but I was uneasily aware of its underlying presence. My mother’s whole education and upbringing had convinced her that for a woman the greatest thing was to become the mother of a family. But I refused to take part in grown-up presence”… I hold my tears every time reading about her relationship with her mother. It made think of my mother and the same thing she ALWAYS says to me and numbers of arguments I have against my mother. de Beauvoir and I, we both love our mothers so much that we also the greatest rebellions.
I am now entering a new chapters about her student days at Sorbonne, where she met Sartre. I’ll leave this excerpt about people approvement to wish you a fantastic day.
“All day long, I felt that people’s eyes were upon me; I like and even loved the people around me, but when I went to bed at night I felt a sharp sense of relief at the idea of being able to live at least for a little while without being watched by others; then I could talk to myself, remember things, allow my emotions a free rein and hearten to those tender inner promptings which are stifled by the presence of grown-ups.” – Simone de Beauvoir, Mémoires d’une jeune fille rangée, 1958.

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